HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFERENT SOCIAL CLASSES IN A RELATIONSHIP
The most important thing in these situations is not to
characterize your partner by his social class. A social class is like your sex,
no one chooses to be a man or a woman. I don't see anyone saying: I am so sorry
you are a man or what are shame, how can you be a woman?
HE'S IN A LOWER SOCIAL CLASS
It is not His fault he is poorer than you, it's his
parents doing. All you have to bear in mind is him, what are his plans for his
life, for the future. When he gets to be something. Social class is changeable.
If he's achieved something too small for your parents' taste then tell your
parents how many guys who come from the same social class as he have achieved
that very same place. He's got potential, you'll see. Just wait. If you love
this guy then he's got real potential. You being intelligent and all.
Some men will not like being taken to fancy
restaurants, trips, etc., things they can't afford while others have no problem
at all.
Men who don't like it are either gentlemen or they
feel you are crunching their ego by showing them all these things they'd love
to give it to you but they can't.
Guys who don't feel bad for those things have accepted
you and have made peace with their mind about who has more money than whom, and
those who ask you for stuff can either be taking advantage of you or they think
they're pleasing you by letting you please them.
Some behaviors should be red flags. If when you don't
give him things he gets cranky, or if he tells you he needs an allowance, or
when you have no money to take him to fancy places he gives you excuses not to
be with you so make sure you nurture the right habits. If you give him
everything and then suddenly start preventing him from getting these things and
he starts pulling away then it's your fault. I always tell my friends, if
you are gonna create habits, let them be good ones and if you're gonna get
addicted to something, let it be something that won't harm you.
If you are wealthy, in order to avoid gigolos,
whenever you start dating someone, you should at the very most, go Dutch with
him. Which mean you'll have to let him pick the places you go and with time,
start going to your places where you can pay most of the money or all of it,
but only after he has passed all tests and after a serious conversation on the
range of how much money you have.
You should know which kind of man he is but most
importantly, you should know what kind of man you want and then make the right
decisions in order not to let him become something you'd hate. Just like you
shouldn't spoil kids too much, you should be methodical on how to spoil your
man.
HE'S IN A HIGHER SOCIAL CLASS
HE'S IN A HIGHER SOCIAL CLASS
Do you feel small around his friends, does the way you
dress bother people, are you tired of him trying to buy you with gifts, are you
uncomfortable with all this money suddenly available to you? If yes then he's
very lucky to have you but you shouldn't be suffering. In today's financially
driven world, you got lucky, you got yourself a man who can do more than
provide and give you more than financial security.
You know when they say: you can't love in an empty
stomach? Well, it's true. The human being needs to cover all the basic survival
needs which go at the very lower part of Maslow's pyramid. Don't have problems
with money? One less problem for you. Now you can worry about other stuff like
LOVE, sex, attention, care, etc.
There will be people who will think you just need his
money and the best way to approach this is to have your own source of income
independent of him. That shall be enough to shut their damn mouths. If you
decide to be a housewife, be a housewife not a Kardashian. Women who spend more
money than they actually have tend to get people talking.
However, if you don't mind what his friends and
relatives think or say about you then good luck, the only people who will
befriend you from his circle will do it either because they are like you or
because of your money and the rest will see you as a gold digger. You should
just make peace with it.
As they say: If it acts like a gold digger, talks like
a gold digger and walks like a gold digger then it is a Gold digger. Know that
most people just aren't used to buying expensive things because they don't have
money. Sometimes you do have all this money to do all these things they can never
dream of.
But if your relationship is a transaction where you
give him beauty and he gives you money then own this truth, make peace with it,
stop caring for it, never mind it, bend its meaning to mean a good thing (that
you have money other women don't), because you see, if your idea of love is
"a man who gives you money", then no one can help you anymore because
you have created your own moral compass and you have decided to become this
person for life, mentally self-hacked to think that's the right moral compass,
which points towards money.
Isn't it curious that I hear more "A man who
won't give you money, he ain't a man" exactly in the time where I also
hear "Don't depend on a man. Be your own boss". I think some
information is getting lost here. This should be the decade of Going Dutch yet
I've never seen in my life a time where women scale their men by their ability
to give them money than this. This is true where I live. Luckily things are
different in yours.
Someone's got to tell women this is not what Feminism
stands for. It's about equity, not more privileges. And I am Ok with women
getting privileges but I will let you in a little secret, when guys pay you
things for you to do things for them, yes you are privileged but these men
think their own you. Isn't that what you are trying to avoid?
Here, things are a little bit different from what
happens when the money you have is your parents because he may appease his mind
by telling himself that it's not your money". Most solutions from the
previous sub-topics can work in these situations.
When a women gets more money than a man there a few
methods I have seen work with some couples over the years:
PERCENTAGE
Using percentage can work if he has made peace with
it. What's good about percentage is that it's somewhat fair and remains
unchanged regardless of how much money you and him are making. If you are
getting 100 thousands and him 10 thousands, and you decide to create a mutual
account for house things of, say, 20% of salary then he puts 2 thousands and
you put 20 thousands. Then again, he has to have made peace with it.
THE PROVIDER
If your man is somewhat uncomfortable with the
technique above, he can use his money for the most important things in the
house: food, water and electricity. Then you can, in the end of the month, give
him those 20% I mentioned earlier to manage, him being the man of the house and
all. You'll still have 80% of your salary and along with him, you can find long
term plans for it! Remember, you want to keep a certain fake sense of financial
equality, so that he keeps lying to himself that it's not money that makes a
man, a man.
TO GET HIM TO TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY AND ASK YOUR HAND, DOWNLOAD FULL E-BOOK HERE.
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