HOW TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP LAST AND BE HAPPY
The first thing you should think of is about your
objectives in the relationship. He might have his short term objectives but you
should have a long term mindset. It's no coincidence we, men, have segmented
women into categories. That girl has the "fuck me look", that one
says "marry me" all over her, that other one says "Don't take me
serious", etc.
If your mindset, behavior, dress code, conversation,
everything is channeled into being someone's girlfriend then men will naturally
mirror you. They might cheat on you when you aren't around (especially in
distant relationships) but as soon you arrive, they'll get back at Boyfriend
Mode, not knowing they're being reprogrammed slowly.
If you need a boyfriend but you are still distracted
with the hottest guy at school or work, you pick your guys by how strong your
orgasms are, or you find no problem to date a guy who has a girlfriend or a
wife or even kids, then you still have teenage behavior and teenagers shouldn't
get married, they should suffer a little bit in order to learn from their poor
choices.
No relationship is without fights, but the couple
should know that fights are not a reason to break up. You should be able to
point out the problems that originated the fight, work on them and try to fix
them, together.
And avoid being the couple that breaks up then gets back
together with sex, breaks up again and the same thing happens over and over
again. In serious relationships you should create the habit of talking,
and if you hurt each other, please apologize (most women have a problem
of having a serious fobia towards apologizing which makes men do it even when
they know they're right, until they find an adult woman.)
After a while, men get tired of being with a child and
they start dating a real adult woman, usually not as pretty as you, who ends up
getting married with them within a few months when you were together for years
and you wonder what you did wrong.
Less attractive people don't have huge egos,
they don't think they are entitled to love and attention or that they deserve a
prince, they know they should earn it so they work on themselves, tailoring
themselves to him, channeling him which ends up making men change for these
women and end up marrying them. All a man wants is a woman who brings the best
of himself.
Another very important thing is never to let the fire
of the beginning of the relationship to ever end by maintaining habits which
allow constant and permanent approximation, breaking down all the walls between
you and all the numerous layers that we have in our very dark personalities.
When you feel that you have nothing to hide to each other, a happy marriage is
bound to happen. You have to know that there's nothing worse than a change in
behavior to the worst. This is a proof method to demise.
I believe if you care about each other you will avoid
at any costs to do anything you know could harm your relative other so if you
start getting even more irritated with each other, and you talk about where this
irritation origins from (I am assuming you know nothing happens without
talking), but if still there's a choice to reluctantly oppose yourself or
himself to change, then it won't work. The will to change for the other should
be always visible because that's how you keep the hope for a better future and
it's this hope that makes us overlook everything else.
You should always respect each other's opinion, know
how to listen (listening is an art and a skill). I hear women saying they want
to be heard all the time but they never actually listen to their man. It's only
by listening, actually trying to understand, not just listening to know how to
counterattack, that you can find ways of solving the problem.
The easiest trick
to start a solving argument with your partner is to think you might be wrong
and listen to what he says, naked of preconceptions. Then if you realize that
he's talking bullshit, tell him everything that's wrong with his argument and
suggest a different approach, always doing so as if you are dealing with a
child you can't offend otherwise it will cry. Men's need to always be men can
be their worst enemy. Just like you'd hate it if his tone or his words offended
you, don't offend him, and avoid passive aggressiveness. It will just make him
angrier.
Having time for each other is a must, and being always
ready to listen to one another, even when you were not invited to their
problems, is good. We all have our demons and usually we don't want to let them
out so we don't talk about them, we don't share them, we don't let them out but
you see, it's only by sharing them that they can get out, and even if you think
he won't understand you, it's his duty as it is yours to listen to the other
and pretend you give a fuck. That is what relationships are all about.
It is common in a relationship to have outsiders
either from your side or his to have their own opinions. Never let other
people's opinions (except mine of course) interfere in your relationship. You
should learn to solve your own problems in an adult way. You have a problem? Go
inside your bedroom and talk. No one needs to hear your problems and those who
want to be not worth letting. And, only the two of you know what happens
between 4 walls.
It happens in relationships that you get so comfortable
and think you are entitled to his love or even to just assume that the other
one knows how we feel, otherwise he would complain, and forget to verbalize our
feelings. Even worse is not even showing by caring gestures, attention, gifts,
or compliments. In order to have a successful relationship, these things should
be consciously trained for a certain period until they become unconscious,
automatic, unplanned, and almost instinctive.
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