GETTING HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS TO LIKE YOU, ESPECIALLY HIS MOM

FRIENDS

The best way to be friends with your husbands' friends is to talk to them one by one. When you meet them in groups they tend to be irritating and most will sound like jerks because it's the nature of men to compete to see who has sex with the most girls, who has more money, who is more intelligent, and so on. 

The womanizer will disgust you with his details, the rich guy will sound shallow, and the intelligent guy will most likely throw some dark sarcasm he thinks is genius and you'll most likely get offended. So, please, only go to groups after they know you for who you are and you know each one of them for who they really are. That way, even if you find them to be jerks, it will be amusing, not offensive.

And, as I said earlier, never, I repeat NEVER flirt with his friends. If you notice that one of them is looking at you don't even look at him ambit if you do give him the angry and evil disappointed face. Tell your boyfriend later at home how X was being really uncomfortable and if things continue, you'll stop going out with this friend. And girls, please don't use this trick to lie. If you lie and your boyfriend goes to confront his friend, and later that same friend swears to his other friends that "You know me guys. I sleep around but a friend's wife is like a man to me. She's sacred. I didn't even look at that bitch", then honey you'll have a problem because men often believe in other men. I am sure you know the saying "Bros before Whos". We follow it almost religiously. So, if you can handle him by yourself, ignoring him totally, then you are in clear waters to be welcomed to the squad.

HIS MOM

If you are so self-entitled that you think it doesn't matter whether his family, friends and especially his mom like you or not, if you think you'll only marry him, have babies from him and manage to do so without any contact from his family, if you don't care about the woman who created him at all, if you think all you want is him, not his kiths and kins, then this Chapter is not for you. 

Being enemies with his family is neither good for your men nor for your kids. It's always good to say: I tried my best to make his mother like me, she'll just have to stop being selfish and realize our friendship would be better for her son by herself.

Before you even meet her, ask him how is she: is she conservative or liberal, traditional or modern, outgoing or shy, highly educated or not, clingy or distant, how she treated his previous girlfriends and what did she usually complain about (the truth about her usually lies here).

Yes, his mother is older than you (most of the time anyways) but that doesn't mean she's more reasonable than you. The thing with well-being is that it is not relative. Having wife and mother as friends is the best thing a man can have. If she doesn't like you and later you prove her she was wrong about you and you become friends, she'll respect you so much that even if your husband starts giving you trouble, she'll ship in for the rescue. It's better this than for you and your husband to go through tough times and she keeps saying "I don't want to say this but I told you so." Which will make your husband listen to her more and by doing so ruining any chance of him even being with another woman in the future.

You should try and figure out why she hates you. Not what she says or shows she hates you but the real subconscious reason why she hates you. Befriend somebody near her (not your man, he's useless here) and ask that person. Tell her/him how you'd like to be friends with your partner's mother. Ask for absolute naked truth even if it's offensive. You may give this person two glasses of wine if you want absolute truth. Trust me, it works.

When you find out, think whether what she wants from you is achievable or not. If it isn't, go and tell her personally that you can't do it even if you wanted, things like: Not being of a certain race, social status, etc. (All those things considered prejudice).

If she complains about these immutable things, there's nothing you can do. Just live your life. I can't help you and you can't help her. She's just lost.

But sometimes her prejudice comes from how she was raised because collective hate is just not easy to change. Usually it needs a traumatic event or a psychiatrist. So if you have the patience to show her the very opposite of how she views a certain group, you might change her.

If the problem is:

THE WAY YOU DRESS

It's really not that hard to change styles when she's around. You won't be changing your personality, you'll be on vacations of your style. I bet that if you were to go to an indigenous African tribe and the women gave you a specific cloth to wear while you are there, you'd find it funny and worth of an Instagram Post. 

We really don't wear the same year everywhere, there's such thing as dressing competence. But since your pride does not know how to be humble when you can show that bitch who's the boss, you end up losing the chance to bond, because of something so little.

Your mother-in-law lived in other times and let's face it, the Internet and social media golden age has changed dramatically the way people behave and present themselves and mostly for the worst in terms of moral values. Besides, you have to take into account "The Generation's Nostalgia" Effect. What's that? Well it's just a thing I just invented which means that you, right now, when you look at people of the generations after yours, you always start a sentence with "in my times..."

CONFLICT OF INTERESTS

She wants him to do something, you want him to do something else and a Cold War breaks. Mothers will never stop being mothers but wives can come and go, remember that. That's why instead of trying to beat the enemy, join her.

Most of conflict of interests happen because one does not understand the other and/or doesn't want to because everyone thinks they're right.

As I said earlier, age does not always mean wisdom and love might blind people from seeing beyond their own interests or even their loved ones' interest. Remember that she raised him so she's biologically entitled for attention, aid and love from him, unless you think she doesn't, which I will only condone if she was an abusive or absent mother.

Sit down, talk, listen more than you speak, use your brain to find ways the two of you can be happy not ways you can end the conversation in a way that demonizes her in the eyes of her son and sanctifies you. You are better than that.

Every single problem requires a different approach and it's just not possible to cover them all here.

Remember that to break down any egotistical walls your mother-in-law or any person for that matter, might have, you may use this trick: ASK FOR A FAVOR. After that, you'll sneak right under that person's ego wall, the person will help you and you'll thank her/him deeply by giving him/her a gift hence creating an evenness while also making a new friend.  Also remember the rule of reciprocity which makes people who are given gifts, given favors, helped in any way, have the need to return the favor.

So, next time you hate somebody at work, ask them to lie to your boss that you had a family emergency while you didn't.

I remember the first time I read about this trick I was dating a guy's childhood friend so I asked for a pen at college and after that, we became the best of friends. So much that a few months later I found him a hotter girlfriend and he's now married to her and moved to another country. I hope he doesn't read this book! Or maybe it's good that he does. I'll let you know!

TO GET HIM TO TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY AND ASK YOUR HAND, DOWNLOAD FULL E-BOOK HERE.