DEALING WITH DIFFERENCES IN RELATIONSHIPS

Being compatible is overrated.

Hollywood has sold us this false truth and dating apps have made things even worst. The truth is, as Newton's 2nd rule states, opposites really do attract each other.

My girlfriend and I have made it work with just 20% of compatibility and my parents did it with even lesser. When two people get together and they talk to each other, traits of one are transferred or cloned to the other and other traits get extinct with time so make sure you put the good ones into the first group and the bad ones into the second. 

The problem is that most of the time people want so much to hold on to their true immutable self (As I said before, such thing does not exist) and instead of emanating traits that make their partners want to willingly clone, they emanate bad ones and the relationship becomes a competition of who can annoy the other more, in a passive-aggressive kind of attitude.

Differences can be a good thing. When making big decisions, two opposite sides bring up a more exhaustively thought choice since both the optimistic and pessimistic, pragmatic and idealistic, rational and emotional, spiritual and Corporeal, all sides of the same coin are covered.

Besides, certain problems require certain types of answers and other problems, other answers. A criminal son can be thrown out by his father but given food and love by his mother, and then he may change by the harsh life of the street, not or, but and, by the hope of a better man he sees in his mother's eyes.

Another reason why opposites can work out is that I think you wouldn't want to date someone like you. You know yourself, don't you? Imagine having to deal with a person like you. Your habits, your mania, your vices, your temper, everything, imagine that. You wouldn't handle it, would you? I know I wouldn't.

That is not to say that compatibles don't work. I believe they can work. But this chapter was about opposites so I guess I made my point. If your man is the very opposite of you, get into his world and invite him into yours, slowly and forcelessly.


WHEN THE BAD TRAITS OUTWEIGH THE GOOD ONES? HOW TO PERSEVERE?

It's easier to jump from a perforated sinking boat when you see a magnificent boat in the horizon than to take a breath, gather some wood scraps and cover the holes.

Are you a coward? I believe you aren't even if you think you are.

I know you understood what I was going for with my parabola but since I am not that good at those, let me explain it. The sinking boat is your relationship. The magnificent boat at the horizon is any man who appears in your life when things aren't going well in your relationship.

The wood scraps are all the small things that give you hope of saving your relationship along with all your last resort energy for your last attempt of saving your relationship. To men who cheat on their wives and say that she's not exciting anymore, I usually say: The time you'll leave your wife and your lover become your wife, you'll need a new lover. The problem is not your wife, the problem is you. You tell her you need a certain kind of wife when in fact you need another. There's nothing your lover can do that your wife can't learn to do.

You see, I tell them this but I am a bit hesitant because most women won't get out of their comfort zone and won't leave their sexual taboos, prompting many men to cheat. But we'll see that in the chapter about sex.

The secret to persevere is knowing what you want, knowing how to get there and act. A woman who knows what she wants is as sexy as you can get.

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